Thursday, 8 December 2016

So Windows 10 wifi issues...

windows has a proprietary driver for wifi.

This fails.

It is always BEST to install the manufacturer of the machine's wifi driver from the manufacturer site.

Stay away from all the driver fix/ driver update programmes, they are full of their own agendas and issues etc. Bloat/ malware risk etc etc .

Once thats done .... and the correct driver is in place.

Theres a useful video i found here > Windows 10 wifi issues.

Saturday, 26 November 2016

The one where I moan about bastard physics


Last night on doubleglazed , vented windows.

As advised in these temperatures: heating on. WTF. only living room and bedroom got the condensing.
Kitchen and bathroom never "Got it"

Urrrgh. Never had it since theyve been in 5-6yrs?

Pain in the proverbial I must be balancing the heating wrong or just being on a relatively exposed promontory site and "Its gonna happen" but it HASNT before, and the windows arent Broken.

 All rater perplexing, ....
were temperatures from 1 degree outside when went to bed suddenly switched waaaay lower? to minus 72? thatd do it, rapid temp change , but it wasnt, it was slow slide down in temp yesterday outside.

bastard physics

The balancing of flat? I did find ONE window vent closed, dont know when i closed it. That could be the culprit. We shall see.

Friday, 21 October 2016

Some Comms thoughts , maybe?

if you are an org with a front facing twitter, resolve there not signpost to phone call or a link, or anything else, the initial side if strong enough should be THERE, not elsewhere. Clear descriptions and resolutions CAN be achieved on one media, dont ask people to swap to another. Unless.. of course its TOO COMPLICATED.On twitter you'll find often, it isnt, and theres the DM channel that works very well.
And so dont take people off where they are comfortable with AT THE TIME. use that and accommodate from the place they are. Email? stay email, facebook? stay facebook, see.. etc etc.
And if someone wants phone, give them phone option. Make it the audience not you.
Only a few people will actually get this, ive tried to simplify it as much as i could...
I dont think telling people not on your site when engaged "go to site and do this" when you are already engaged can be seen as anything but a Put off & further complication. So essentially if engaged dont break that engagement, carry it on, if at all feasible to do so, else you disrupt the engagement and get distortions.

I think thats a thing called Meet them Where They are, but i could be talking "marketing" or "bullshit" depends whos reading.

Digital inclusion isnt just enabling people to interact digitally on YOUR terms. The Digital OFFER, should i say, doesnt now simply mean "go to our website and do this" its much bigger now.

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Joined Up-ness?

So. The doc's havent GOT a letter, that I HAVE got. FFS.
Also Docs HAVE written to hospital over renal concerns. Nothing from hospital back on that in what about 6 or 8 weeks, possibly more?
This isnt joined up is it? and some people wouldnt be ABLE to manage their own conditions and whats going on where.
This is evident in several i am helping/ have helped.
Joined Up-ness to coin a phrase, is not a great thing in NHS in my experience and that of others , more so more recently.
How can this be solved?
Either have an advocate who can monitor and chase stuff, or fix the NHS laggyness. Possibly with a Case manager for each person?
I asked macmillan for someone to join up Anti-co-ag/Cancer/main urology functions etc for someone. THEY cant . And each Doc/consultant is at a loss on what we mean by Join-it-up too .
This is a concern.
It concerns me that others mightnt manage as well, miss bits of stuff out, and not get the plan they need...
Anyway. Thats a view from here.

Sunday, 24 July 2016

Does This help Anyone..

If you need mac's

Heres two opportunities, wont be about forever obviously

MacBook Pro 13.3" 4GB RAM 320GB A1278/2011
can easy put to 8gb ram, 4 is enough... i have one for sale at £490. postage £25 quid

And i know a company Upgrading and they have about 8 avail at the moment of the

2009 A1342 white ones ALL WITH 8gb ram...working superdrives.. for £350 each? and all on elCapitan.
Each one, 25 postage.

To get these before they are gone, youd need your payments via paypal see helpfund button here ? only on payment can i send.... When you paypal, i see your address on the payment, or should do! And then its all sorted out from there.

OR add a note to yur paypal thing if you want it delivered to someone else?
All options.


Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Busy bodies and insults.

I'm trying to calm down here. Seriously.

The most insulting thing has happened to me JUST now.

Here goes.

I was walking the dog, decided to tie him outside shop and pop in and get some stuff quickly.

Whilst in and paying a woman was running round with a big dog of dog food, shouting someones tied a dog outside that looks like its starvin to death.

I didnt know she meant MINE. But i thought has someone else tied theirs outside too...

There was no other dog tied out front. So We were leaving along the front and she runs up to me with this bag of food " Here this is for the dog hes starving"
Me its okay he has his own food, thanks.
"No take it Im a christian- your not feeding him"

Three others went Aww she's right look at his THIN LEGS..

At which point i said

"He's 14 yrs old, a cross breeding gave him his look , and he's never been fat.."

She tried to remonstrate.

I didnt catch what she said. But i replied

YOU dont know how much or what care I give this dog You know nothing of his history and i find this incredibly insulting.
And i turned back on her and walked away, with MY DOG, THAT I KNOW ALL ABOUT DOG, THAT DOG.

The three others close by were going "She's right though, innit thin"


NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE> It made me look a cunt to more than those 4 people.

Never fucking assume stuff. Not like that.
That was disgusting and unnecessary.

Monday, 11 July 2016

Explaining the JulesHelpFund Button on this Blog

Okay, some of asked for explanation of it.

Im less financially able to help people who cant cover my costs associated with helping them, so people are being unhelped. at least by me when my costs arent covered.

Theres a core, i ended up behind with my own bills, by my failure to recognise exactly what harm that little bit here and there could add up to.

Took advice.

The result? If people cant cover a fiver, a tenner, or whatever it costs me to help , then i cant help.
And i have stuff to repair from not having that rule.

So that button can repair my situation, and can help people too simultaneously.

I wont put amounts here, cos thats not who i am or why this post is made.

So even however cryptic this is, it is a help fund, so i can continue to help people .

And im not hiding the fact either that it will help me too. IT WILL HELP ME TOO. but that must be balanced, by more of my own small income can be spent on my stuff, my repairing, and my stuff. Essentially not causing the same issue as before.

I hope that explains.

And ... can you help?

Theres another route that i see if you help me on a thing I need to do for me over and above all that. Click This one if its purely to help me , suggested amount set, but you can ammend that accordingly >CLICK >>>

                                                 THIS One IS purely for ME.

Vote for me, or I will refuse to recognise your Vote?

These last 2 weeks have uncovered to us, the normal ordinary Labour Voters and Members, just how morally bankrupt and corrupt the Parliamentary Labour Party became under the Blairites.

We now know that the PLP as a general whole, has no love for Democracy, in fact some of the 172 MP's plotting against Corbyn have openly sneered the democratic choices of Labour Voters. 

We also now clear that the Blairites swamped the whole of the PLP with people of their own kind, right wing extremists posing as socialists.  They are nothing of the sort.  Their actions these last two weeks prove that whatever integrity they once possessed has long ago been sacrificed in the pursuit of their own mammon and political ambition, for what else can explain the collusion of 172 MP's, over a ten month period, to act so aggressively against the direct wishes of The Labour Party's own members?

Saturday, 9 July 2016

Poem number XX but not XX but still...

"Smashed, 2 years 1 month and 1 day,
from today.
It wont go away
but what do they say?
Make it
shake it
break it
Do they know the score?
Do they really care any more?
Listened to my story
Which is not full of glory
So they all go away"

Reluctantly, I was told i should blog this... So here...

Inner Conflicts.... 

Not liking Saturday crowds.
So someone knows i dont like saturday crowds.
Invites to pub.
I say What on a saturday? HOPING they go d'oh, of course there might be too many people...
They didnt.. they said
Come on, it'll be quiet....
I said thanks for asking, id rather not.
Was i rude? nope.
Did i say fuck off?
Hopefully they understood.
They might not be Remembering i was assaulted , on a weekend 2 yrs ago, well on a friday, which is weekend crowd anyway. That does stick in mind... but hey. People go MEH.
But going ... its also perpetuation of someone im NOT, inside.
Thats the bit that gets me. every time. Im not going.

Saturday thought, from Jules.

This is a saturday thought, from Jules.

When you USed to have people willing to assist on difficult things.
Like putting that BIG telly in a flat, like moving stuff about, all inwards to the place...
And then you DONT have the assistance around to get those things back OUT of the place and disposed of years later, and theres a collection of stuff that needs GONE.

And when someone visits, and says... Why is there that stuff there..its easy to get rid of...

But it isnt.

And then they think you are hoarding crap and say so.

Them sort of people offer no solution, but criticise. without the thought that its not always possible for someone to do on their own.

Does this make you think about condemnations YOUVE done to anyone?

Does it resolve you to help more?

Im not sure it will. But there. Thats a thought i had.

Its not always about STUFF either, it could be ISSUES people have. But then thats extending the thought further and thats not the intent. This is a thought piece. For you. Not my job to think for you, is it. Nope. *Fin*

Youre welcome.

Friday, 24 June 2016

Some views on Brexit, by Jules

The never before evoked article 50 of Lisbon treaty is getting a huge amount of whats possible or not speculations. Any laid procedures regarding this, havent been tested as efficatious (how DO you spell that word?) or indeed in any practical way.
Last night I deliberately stopped watching BBC Dimbleby steering it as all the fault of Corbyn ,in disgust, as Corbyn had honourable and correct position IMHO.
And so the pundits such as Dimbleby, lead to Bandwagonning opportunists to rise and say ignore the labour membership wishes for who is leader, usurping the partys own democratic election, which was far more democratic election than the conservatives.
There is a thing where scapegoating as a word comes to mind. Those hoisting upon Corbyn, i believe are projecting their own inadequacies. But those doing scapegoating, i suspect include many of the labour brexiters, if not all the labour brexiters anyway.
Now, theres probably at least 2 yrs and a quarter, until the exit where virtually nothing will change, the casino bankers are messing with livelihoods and currencies worldwide.
At whose feet does this lie. Let me begin a bit on that.
One : Media/ right wing. Fuelling dissent and hatreds, i think you know in what areas.
Two: Media: In allowing a non MP of a right wing party to have such a huge platform for so long.
Three: Cameron. And the Conservatives, for pandering to this, and allowing the media to create a populist position to exit. Surmise the reasons yourselves.
Four: Campaign lies from Brexit/ Leave. Two main of their promises can never be fulfilled, namely the NHS spending promise, and the Immigration promise.
Five: Regional Economic Neglect by this Government fuelling a lets kick the establishment focus, rather than a national interest focus, in swages of the population.
Six : relatedly, the failure to address escalating inequality in UK demographics..which, by all reasonable looking at is down to the Conservatives
Seven: Conservative manifesto promise, to have a referendum, laid at Cameron's door, as leading that election manifesto, presenting it, and further, allowing it to happen.
So I leave this really quite unfinished piece with
This situation CLEARLY isnt anything to do with the Right Honourable Mr Jeremy Corbyn, MP, And Leader of The Labour Party. It may have something, and no doubt it does, with the abject deference by some in the party to blairite principles of new labour, which , the membership had wholehearted rejected by electing Corbyn to Lead the party.
Their disrespect, and their reticence may well have contributed to all this.
Surmising. The Raising of a No Confidence Vote in Corbyn has no justification in my opinion, other than to satiate the needs of some to feel "blameless" within the party.
Well, I hope that makes some sort of sense.
All the best. Jules.

Friday, 17 June 2016

Helpyland ... That place where shit happens..

So Gary, who has MS, 18mnths ago was to have an operation , 
went in for that and Not What he went in for was done, 
and that didnt work, 
and in july has what shouldve been done 18Month ago. 

He feels he has a negligence case if july "works" when the other didnt, because if july works on what it should, it shows , in his mind, a negligence, someone I know will write it all up, I'll assist, and we'll seek legal on it. I
F JULY works on the thing its supposed to. 
This is complex.
Them, Another, and I, will present best case and seek legal on it.

Saturday, 21 May 2016

Poem: Bigotry

If only you knew
What i could do
Would you
But if you did
Would you lift the lid
And be done with this fucking bigotry.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Telephone number requited to progress on website? NOPE. Look

Have you ever filled in a form on screen, and it asked for your telephone number, and you didn't want to give it because there's no point in them calling you, but the form insists that you provide a number? There may be a simple answer if you are in the UK. Just enter the number 0333 8888 8888 (last '8' is not needed, but makes it easier to remember). If somebody rings this number they will be told that you don't want to be contacted by telephone and please use another way of contacting you. 
This is a service provided by TrueCall. They don't mind

Sunday, 15 May 2016

On ESA and PIP forms < this works

This will be a short post but I think a surprisingly necessary one.

I have a piece of advice for everyone filling in PIP and ESA forms:

If you have access to a computer YOU CAN TYPE ALL YOUR ANSWERS OUT, SAVE IT AND PRINT. The form makes it look like you have to handwrite your answers onto the space provided – which is not only difficult and painful for many of us, it also makes it difficult to retain records of what your answers were.


Friday, 13 May 2016

Poem : The Mood With No Name

There may not be enuf booze for this mood. ... 
Its not a strange mood....
Not a weird mood...
Its a flat mood....
Its a what? 
Its a mood...
A mood with no name... 
Its not a mood to describe as fine...
Its not a mood to describe as grim..
Tis flat, a mood...
A mood with no name.


The One where I said no, for reasons...

Email in.
A request for assistance on a package of stuffs.
I worked out woulda cost me DVD, time to do it, taxi, three letters, and a couple of bits. Told them.
Them then replied? "Okay, cant do that"< Meaning they wouldnt cover expenses.

Me then? "so if you cant pay that cost, nor can I." 

It was relatively small sum, in some peoples lives they maynt have blinked, nodded and got on with it - but to me it matters, and i cant justify on that.

Not being selfish there, cos if you add up LOTS of occurrences on different things..... can you see? And im under no definition of selfish, not selfish at all.

I woudve had to do a Powerpoint, 
burn to THREE discs actually, and send three places it. So yeah COST. Also woulda needed taxi, and other bits..for another bit of it.

Plus one bit i'd also need new shoes, and to unmothball a suit (not literally, its hung in t'wardrobe) and thats "Not On The Programme"

Can you see why the Costs or nowt decision was made? Im sure you can.

Thursday, 12 May 2016

Meeting people ....

Also amazing local man i met yesterday when out with dog. He was stopped, with a stick, and so I asked whether he was OKAY.
The mans name Malcolm. 
Malcolm proceeded to tell me the whole of his health issues and memory problems since he'd had a recent stroke. Without invite or question asked by me, just the are you okay? 
He explained he NEEDED to tell me this in case i met him again, and if at that time he was confused. He Knew I lived very close by to where we met, and I didnt ask him where his address was, but it must be fairly local.
He went as far as telling me the frustrations when people give up talking to him as he loses words, and to him he often cries at these times. He said too that itd been three months and that his brain was working it all out by working and scaffolding around the broken bit(s).
But if I'd not asked him was he okay.. none of that wouldve been talked about by him..
So know I know. I'll keep eye open to see him again and see if he's alright.
We did walk a way together, and he said thanks for listening. He'd forgotten my name, and said he'd say hello next time as he'd link me and dog together.
That was an extraordinary, and random meeting.

Monday, 9 May 2016

The one where i talk abouht tight arsed f*krs


Heres a thing 
when you have little spare cash, 

on your own, 

and visit a discount shelf/section/trolley/offer...

 When you see a Cunt sweeping that shelf section or trolley 

muttering yup, freezer, yup , yup. ooh yes, and ahh that!
.. and buying almost whole shelf or section or trolley and you cant get close, as they and a possible entourage are blocking you to get one /two items you want? 

...and they buy a shit load more than you can buy in one purchase. Thems the tight arsed fukrs i dont like. Cos in their lives they dont help people, or give a shit about others. Thats my best guess on people like that.

Saturday, 7 May 2016

That one where people try to... whatever it is called...

Im feeling a bit that yesterday, as like many days, i was like a watered-down version that is further diluted to maintain social acceptance. I dont know how to break that.

And being told i dont go enuf places or do enuf stuff... and allsorts of  stuff like that, from two people irl and that You are Becoming a Hermit.. that bit stuck in my head. What am i supposed to do?

Safety first... and yep. They said too i didnt recognise danger , and put myself in spots that are really dangerous? so on one hand Dont do, and on the other hand Do do stuff. Totally perplexing.

As i DO recognise danger. Often. So this is now an AAAAAARGH in my head. And shouldnt be.

Oh and a tiny thing, that sticks out too... I fixed a lappy when i was out, and gave several advice things too... but there were, sounds silly this bit, 19 credits on the jukebox, unused, where several had stored them up for later use as if they owned the jukebox. I assumed that me putting a quid in to select 4 would be alright, leaving still 19 credits on the machine. I was shouted down from doing it , at quite close range too,BEFORE i even got the quid in the machine.  I dont think thats normal, do you? Maybe i have the wrong view and everyone's right that i should just fit in and kowtow to lowest common denominators etc. But i am not sure they actually are.

Thursday, 28 April 2016

45p a min to DWP? The one where i say "SOD IT" and recommend Virgin PAYG

Im gonna recommend VIRGIN Mobile PAYG. Sod what you think of Branson et cronies.

This is cos you get starter tariff first, 
then you switch to Big Talk Tariff. 
Then top up 15quid. 
And 15 each month after if you want the benefits to continue.

Super useful. as you get 3000 texts, unlimited calls to landlines, any starting with 01, 02, 03. Useful docs/hospitals/dwp etc, see? Plus 120 minutes to UK mobiles. 

So all this 45p a minute to DWP malarkey can cease with this tariff as its free calls to landlines. 

Monday, 25 April 2016

Adventures in paying for Water

So my reply about something. The draconian collection methods of a utility company prompted this :
" I can pay the bill, not in full, the six month initial is possible
Being on ESA support Group you can understand hopefully that i have a serious illness, and extremely low disposable income.
I would propose that you write cancelling the demand for full amount, cancel any intent of legal action, & accept the offer on original bill.
Also the reminders sent? you will see that last years bill is fully paid , so soft reminders could be reinstated. "
Nasty companies. Nasty some of them .
Their reply?
"We can now only take a payment for the full balance, because we have past the due date for the first half which was due on 1 April 2016. You can still however make a payment and then arrange a payment plan for the remaining balance, this payment plan would start in May 2016.
I trust the information provided will be of assistance to you. "
That makes no sense whatsoever, as they state they can only accept full payment, but then say they can accept *a* payment of less?
I read it and actually said out loud "WTF" in full words, and the dog looked at me funny.
So I replied:
"So you state you can only accept full payment, and then state you can accept a lower payment? which is it? As this is inherently contradictory, and i'm confused. "

And then they stopped talking. with a standard "acknowledgement auto reply" 
So still unclear, as to what to do, and if they continue with this automatically theyll ADD at least £65 quid onto the bill? 

Draconia. Over Water.

It continued though with yes the six months as a conditional WAS acceptable, or even a lower amount, which begs the question as to why initial pursuit was for Years amount?

So i shed £90 in one hit, and theyll sort a fortnightly amount for the rest.
BUT THEY STARTED out wanting The full amount. amazing. Not.

Saturday, 23 April 2016

More On Sanctions - Jules Thoughts

I did a thought, about sanctions, much a continuation of existing thoughts that I, and others have.
So here it is.

I Saw a social media plea for Razors, from a foodbank. Nothing strange , you would think. They actually appended their plea with the fact theyd had a yound man attend their place, having had benefits sanctioned for being unshaven.
Here is their message :

So i started thinking, and these were my thoughts:
Where is this young mans advocate? I'd be ripping DWP to pieces over that sanction.
On basis that conditionality supposed to be within clients capabilities and reasonable, the argument would be "Non capability due to means" furthermore, an expose of financial status and that the expectation was unreasonable around clients means.

Likewise the sanctions around non attendances? If client does not have the cash to attend, and the expectation is unreasonably shanks pony?
The sanctions constructs are all based on unreasonableness IMHO, and theres "good reason" rules, that are barely applied.
Its approaching judiciary style, without a court or defence possibility, worse than fines in courts, arbitrary kangaroo court? not even that..
The sanctions leave destitution and penury as resultant, which also IMHO is against the Rights of Individuals under Human Rights act.
This may be the most ive thought on round this subject and actually shared. Ive actually clearly stated my thoughts on one aspect before though that being that to sanction a parent, causing hardship, obviously affects their offspring, and IMHO is tantamount to Child Abuse.
So you can take what i said , dismiss if you wish, or think harder on it, and advocate, help people whenever you can.

I must note here that ive been told this sanction was appealed and overturned, but the fact it happenned in the first place is inexcusable .

Saturday, 9 April 2016

The one where being a helpy and supporting is aspect

Mate was DX yesterday with lung cancer. 

doesnt know yet if treatable, theyre doing more scans, whole body, and head next week 

and specialist friday. 

dont know if small cell, the other, or spread. 

Meantime i got a fucking lurgy, and he wants me to go pub with him a bit later 

as not wanting to be on own. 

I told him this and bug thing , 

he said dont worry about that come... 

My thoughts went 

1) if im up to it 

2) ive got a bug he might catch 

3) im and was  thinking respect wishes and go anyway. 
or dont go cos bugs. and it was  doing my nut in. 

i will probably go. Im waiting a fucking appt re an abcess myself around the renal department. 

All a bit fucking jumbled myself, 

So After all that. yes, i'll probably go. 

Mates only 66 . 

known for 10 yrs

BUT WHAT DO WE TALK ABOUT? or do we just say Yup, yup, Y U P. nod and drink? 

(if only you could see the thoughts in my head, i try to write them above. I hope you see) 

Monday, 4 April 2016

Fatigue. The beast that hits people with many ills.

The word Asthenia is also used... where something else may sit. 

For what is it when it hits, whats behind it?
I can Identify at least contributors to why i get *whacked out* 7 or 8 at a push. 
Others dont get the DX's that tell them what is causing this loss of energy. 
Mine comes from bowel disease, two things to do with my blood , at least, one of my tablets, and a thing also thats #mh based, and some organ damage. Theres other suspects too. 
But core to that is a chronic infection. 
Where my system, and the main tablet both SLOW ME DOWN, is that the right description? 
Many contributions to it. Add the Seventh of Low appetite leading to low energy too, which is a spin off from three aspects described above. Very complex. But if you look Holistically, theres no way i can bounce around like some can. Now its not been Called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome from any practitioner ive seen, but Im tired almost constan, and exhausted at other times.Far more than someone without these conditions described. 
Some say CFS doesnt exist for these reasons. 
And that it describes the complex interaction of various ills and conditions. But yes the link to infection is a given, and is it the be all and end all that it is from infection? No i dont think it is. I believe CFS is a broad church term, when docs are either too lazy to find root of it or its unknown land for reason.
This doesnt touch at all on muscle wasting or genetic diseases,of a degenertive nature.. thats not in these thoughts, but they too get the CFS label in a lot on instances.

Friday, 1 April 2016

By Me: What would you do?

What would you do
if you lost a glove or a shoe
what would you do
Would you seek
Would your eyes leak
a tear
And think of the year
And why the tear
Would it be for they or
HEY for the reaction you got at home.
And then move on
And on
And if it was not a shoe, or a glove, in an older year
And it was something to you quite dear
Would you have the fear
Or more radically despair
Would you be fixed
And have the bricks
to rebuild
Or would the shoe or glove
Yes that episode
Be the shadow on the current fix
Shadow of fear
And another tear
The learned response.

Some Economics Surrounding Govt inaction on Steel Industry

Dig deeper. The reason Tory govt veto'd higher premium on Chinese Steel... is the key word PROTECTIONISM. and monetarists Hate Protectionism. Higher duty on Chinese steel wouldve part way protected british steel industry. America for instance have over a 100%+ (over 100%) tarriff on it. Ours is 6%. Anyway moving on...
For protectionism is seen by them as state interference, and commonly referred to as state intervention. Not part of their core beliefs. Not in UK Monetarism, anyway. .... protectionism is seen as a tool of stagnation... it isnt, its a tool of anti decay ( a preventative tool) from market interactions.
See where that heads? "The Market rules" . It shouldnt always.
Yet tory voters dont all see this TORY view, yet still vote tory? "why arent we protecting British Stuff" ad infinituum.. but see the key concept here with the steel thing is Protectionism is seen BAD by monetarist core theory of UK Conservative Party> Q.E.D "We'll help those affected" rather than ..*we will protect this industry from unfair competition by taxation route and take a long term view of the benefit of this industry" See? (Tax is Fiscal, not Monetary)
Now you see the difficulty. Tory immutability on Monetarism. To swing them they must be under serious OMG threats to gain minor concessions to their driven belief in the Markets.
This is my view on this. Hope it helps.

Monday, 28 March 2016

Fought myself whether to Blog this TW child abuse thoughts

On 13th March 2016 had a long conversation with a friend about childhood abuse, its affects and PTSD. now the first aspect is hidden too much, and second third issues are similar and also discounted often as non existent. The conversations ive had many times i read that it all is something that has profound effects, both because it actually happening/happenned, and then compounded by people denying its effects.
I watched, and was moved by this inherrent denial attitude, a "Kidnapping" and resolutions film a couple of days before that conversation, a historic one from British Pathe News, where a lad was kidnapped for months and the news reel said " *Peter* (that wasnt his name) can get back to family life easily within days after two months away, hes luck to have his family" Thats abridged... but it still pervades that abuse has zero effect and no affectaction on victim....
This further is vivid with the way the csa enquiries and "historic abuse" cases are investigated. Its not historic to the victims. CSA isnt the only type of abuse either. Theres things like dysphoria suppression, violent, psycologic abuse and more. There is something i wish i could do to shake people to realise that this is an important area, and is dismissed far to easily as a sideline, or as a historic thing as if it has no current effects or isnt happening today. Thats like Turning away and saying "i never saw that, not my business, shant interfere" by doing that those that turn away...Arent they complicit too?
Like the people who knew what my father was like, but did nothing. I concluded they were complicit.

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Are people thick? It seems DWP might be , people arent ..


DWP say :
Look for jobs up to a 90 minute commute away. Travelling further opens up more vacancies

I say, socially and economically the following:
DWP , should think though the cost of 90mins there, 90 mins back, travel cost, or even possibility in places is dire..
And sometimes 90 minutes means different things like in car, on bike, by means of walk, or public transport.. or private costly train.. so how can they judge compliance?
What is a 90 minute away job?
So definining 90 minutes, is arbitrary, sometimes unachievable. And if low paid, travel cost punitive.
People ( who generally are sensible about search thresholds) arent expecting jobs at the end of their road, anyway, but just what toll it takes on them, cost and other factors transpire

Sunday, 20 March 2016

From Paula Peters : a guest blog from a Disability Activist on IDS resignation

Paula writes: I have so many feelings about IDS right now am struggling to find the words. I know several hours after his resignation I sat on the sofa unable to sleep sobbing my heart out. I thought about my friends and their families will grieve for the rest of their lives. No resignation will ever change that. So many people have lost loved ones and friends and many in tragic appalling circumstances. Thousands of human beings are dead because of IDS and this evil government. IDS has blood on his hands and nothing will ever ever change that. That is not social justice Iain Duncan Smith, your polices killed, tortured, traumatised millions that is something you should hang your head in shame for IDS.
That you say today your reforms were about social justice is utter rot. They were ideological, intent to cause distress, harm and kill as many people as possible. You simply did not care about anyone you inflicted pain on.
We consign you to the dustbin of history I hope one day I can get your voice and your head out of my head. Because you caused countless sleepness nights, nightmares, and pain I know I will never able to be able to talk about
The policies of your inhumanity remain. You will be remembered as one of the most reviled politicans of the tory will always be known as IDS, murderer, blood on your hands from those who died due to the WCA, died to the sanctions, died due to the stress and fear of the assessments, job centre visits and the discrimminatory rheotric you used on a daily basis against those who you thought were nothing in your eyes.
Each and everyone of us are human beings...something you know nothing about because you need to have a heart to be human and you were always born without one.
You are heartless and no excuses will ever change it.
Last night with all the media surrounding us it was surreal, it was emotional, it was raw, it was numbing, it was strange. It was so overwhelming. From barely having any media coverage for almost six years, to everyone wanting a picture, an interview with all of us it was tough. At times we did not have the words we so wish we could have said. I broke down at one point talking to the channel 4 journalist she had tears in her eyes when talking to me and to many of us.
The fight is far from over. Until we get our rights restored to us, until we get this government to face justice for the deaths of thousands and the suffering of millions this fight will never be over.
Forgive me if i sound emotional, Spent part of the day in tears, still cant get my head around any of it. its been a tough six years. i have seen too many people die due to the callousness of this government, seen too many people struggle and suffer.
I hate everything you stand for IDS. karma will come to you. what goes around comes around.....and you will get yours. in this life or the next.
We have long memories and we will never ever let you get off lightly from six years of hell.
Karma is something IDS you will find will judge you very very harshly.

Friday, 18 March 2016

Where Rhetoric affects lives in a collision of misled truth v reality

VIA @fractalbears on twitter
A lot of us were saying pre-2010 that a Tory win would mean the suffering of a lot of disabled people. Very few people believed us.
They promised that disabled people would be protected, that we need to care for the most vulnerable in society (as they still are).
They got around it by claiming enormous levels of fraud, that we have an easy life while others are struggling. Instilling an us vs them.
Despite it being known to be lies, destroying the lives of so many already suffering, they continue even now to do the same.
The divide and conquer rhetoric has weaved it’s way through our society, people can’t wait to vent their anger at someone they’ve seen standing up out of a wheelchair or carrying shopping, having no clue as to their ailments.
The press know this and feed it with stories of scroungers, light on facts and instead full of speculation. MPs pile in by talking about people ‘taking advantage’, feeding it more.
Rather than stand up for us, when the average person speaks of ESA/PIP, the first thing they talk about is ‘if you’re GENUINELY disabled..’
Not that it’s awful so many of us are dying, often by our own hand. Not that we’re losing homes, losing our care, being dragged through hell.
Nope, instead ‘well as long as you’re NOT faking’.
We know what they think of us, what you think of us. We’ve heard you loud and clear.
It’s always “I didn’t mean you, you’re okay, it’s THEM”
They’ll even speak to you about how they saw their neighbour doing this and that “they’re the ones I mean, the people who are faking”. They have no idea of the state of our health but feel they’re in a position to judge.
I’ve had it. I used my disabled badge when spouse drove me to the shops. Someone wrote into the local paper aghast at someone so blatantly “abusing” it simply because I was young, the car was sporty (an MR2), and they couldn’t see what was wrong with me.
I was so crushed.
People are watching us all the time, waiting for us to do something to justify saying “FAKE DISABLED!”, taking pictures of us.. Is it any wonder we’re getting anxious about leaving the house? Going out terrifies me at times. There were enough obstacles already without having to try and avoid unwarranted suspicion.
I’ve been followed, spat on, had my chair moved without permission, spoken down to, verbally abused… and all *because I’m disabled*.
This is what all this rhetoric does, what it culminates as.
Hate crimes are skyrocketing because of it.

Me: This is a serious experience. This is truth. This is what many should understand and incorporate into what they actually believe. The media is destroying society, and hampering lives, as is the current govt. I do believe the current govt is not countering misconceptions as part of their well secret NUDGE unit.I also believe they are supplying messages to further this message of deserving / undeserving. This position i hold is from observation and a desire for the truth I hold - to them division is control. It is time we reclaimed both correct understandings, compassions, cares, and didnt fight suspiciously amonst each other . 

Thursday, 17 March 2016

Disability cuts and the "Life chances" doublespeak

Some thoughts.
The meagre below povery awards of any welfare in UK to an individual matters at the absolute level. All the thoughts on billions makes it more pallatable to say "This costs a lot of money" For a second here, think absolutes not totals, not percentages, not Budgets, but think of lives.
Think of the Prime Minister sending a message out saying with this budget we've improved life chances for the vulnerable (which he did, shortly after budget, or his team , at least did.
If you are below poverty level of what is deemed reasonable and expected by the general population, and JRF analyse this quite a bit, and money is removed... AND services removed (which is a Money + item, but cant be counted as income) How in the name of whoever or whatever you believe in is that improving life chances?
The double speak, the perniciousness, the grins and jeers. It even looked when the chancellor sat down from his speech my instant thought was "Then, Just then, did he do a mr Bean impersonation" as his face wasnt that of remose and what have i done, but rather a See, I did it! a la Bean, expression.
The news state latest cuts as 1.3 billion, fact checking been carried out by several conscientious and reputable journalists and they put this figure at 4.4billion.
Lets get back though to Individuals. Already, motabilty cars being lost as people no longer quality under extremely punitive mobility rules.
Where isolation mitigated in part, isolation is increasing.
Will there be , and there probably already are, people that have never seen a disabled person or know one? does this sound weird? not if you extrapolate.
Bear with me on this.
The alresdy tight heat or eat thing is well established. Rent crisis also established. They isolate people. People still manage , in some cases to maintain contact with people.
With less money, this Drift to isolation is unfortunately a known product of reduced funds.
So hardly improving life chances , is it?
Congratulations Mr Osborne. Using disabled as singular most revenue generation in this budget (See table 2.1 of the Budget- the red book, towards the end)

Saturday, 12 March 2016

Regarding Cuts. Something ive said before . A reminder..

CUTS: Highest marginal propensity to consume demographic getting money reduced, has a direct affect locally regionally and nationally. With cuts to this demographic, everybody loses. EVERYBODY. 

Its not genious to make cuts, anyone can do that, 
what would be genious is realising that increasing income to that demographic has a multiplication both socially and economically. but our Chancellor only has a maths o-level and a non economic further qualification, ....

and the sense of a moth around a lightbulb.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

I did an ask, imagine if someone asked for me


With all the trans visibility, and everyone THINKING that makes it easier, JULIE trying to come out as Trans and become woman has had quite a few assaults and serious injuries in a so called tolerant society. The NHS in JULIES life did three NO. If I write No, NO, NO, that might show you at least mentally how gatekeepers to peoples reality work. Unless you fit. You need to fit a standard that has support, BACK UP, AND YES EVEN MONEY. And even then they may say NO. Common thought on this is that its an industry of least risk to themselves. IGNORING RISK TO PERSON WISHING THEIR TRANSITION, AND ASSISTED FACILITATION . Julie was told Trans people are selfish to the point of that’s all that matters to them… AS part of the NO process . Julie is a social person. And cares about people, cant be selfish by any measure deemed as criteria. Julie always knew she was a girl to become woman from an early age. Her Father abusively smashed her to behave masculine at every opportunity. Involving punches, restrictions of activities, even confinement though their embarrassment. Julie was pushed to act male. Julie is still physically a man. Julie exists and is being squashed. Julie is at the point where all the no’s just don’t make sense anymore. Julie needs to finance hormones, safely, electrolysis and other aspects of transition because SHE has realized that all the NO were based on fear, and the father couldn’t accept either that he’d given his seed to such as her. NOW WITHOUT DETAIL AND IDENTIFYING who exactly JULIE is right now. I would urge assistance. All donations matter however small. We need to solve JULIE’s problem

UPDATE AT sunday 17th of april
Managed three month supply but need the next three months ordered MID may. This is important, and i got about £40 of what is needed to that , what remains, i estimate as £225. Thats about 4 weeks to do that. So every little help helps greatly, and if you can , i'd be extremely thankful.

 Also quick link to donate £25.00

So every little bit will help me.

People asking for detail? i wont describe the exact parental abuses, and stuf above referenced but heres a thing on feelings, inside of me...
See also a blog i did 7th may

UPDATE: AT sunday 15th may
I have SOME more tablets, but will still need some more early July ... didnt manage 3 months worth this time, so all the help really does matter.

Update 26th june: I need one of the two tablets i need, one is sorted, the other has run out.

Update 12th October: Ran out of the estrogen.

Monday, 7 March 2016

Legal Aid Required for Welfare Claimants

By Samuel Miller

The DWP's six-point plan for dealing with suicidal claimants who have been denied welfare payments is proof that the DWP ministers know that their draconian welfare reforms are killing people. The Tories are at war with the poor and the low waged. Not only are benefit cuts driving people to think of killing themselves, but low wages and welfare sanctions are making people ill, shortening people's lives.

Benefit claimants are being pushed to the brink of suicide—and beyond—and they need more assistance than merely contacting the Samaritans. They urgently need to have their benefits reinstated, and that requires a reversal of the Legal Aid cuts to ensure that their legal and human rights are respected.

As you know, an avalanche of welfare reforms implemented by the Government has resulted in Legal Aid being scrapped for the majority of UK welfare benefits cases. Benefit claimants need a fully funded Legal Aid system in order to properly appeal their cases to Tribunals because their very lives are now at stake.

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Jules (the one where i ask for help)

I am now asking for paypal donations so that i can self medicate, achieve electrolysis and live who i should be against NHS denial about my transexual nature. I should not be a man. Ive always felt that. I cant explain, i just know. That should be enough. Hormones on private market? .. i need them... also need electrolysis, that so far no electrolysist has priced up so i dont what to pay or ask for.
Dont take this post lightly . Ive done years of helping people on all sorts of things. I realise now i need help. and its a very hard thing to say, but yes, i do

I will honour your help with my journey

The help me help others on my donate button is ineed that. It helps me, and helps me help others

I dont be begging here. Im not a beggar. I cant see without help i can really get to be me. If you think its begging? you are wrong. Did i say Ten quid each to a target?  NO. not at all. All im doing is ask for help.

UPDATE: a year, currently minimum of £760. i have £106 towards, and would seriously appreciate even minimum amounts. THIS is my future, and that fund will go on NOTHING else. I cant do this alone . will you help me?
UPDATE 2: another £55 . Thanks.
UPDATE 3: Got to £200. min more of £560 needed. And that will virtually sort a years *basics*

UPDATE 4:  I need next order of tablets at start of May and so all contributions welcomed... and if more that next three months donated it will still be spent on the next three months and further after. I'd hope for support so i can get at least a years, but two years is really a need. So that i dont have the inscurity of start stop, which will be a really non effectual way to do this.
UPDATE 5: 25th March : I have just £15 of the approx £250 needed Before end of april, so can order before run out, and this is worrying. If you can help , it all adds up. What good is three months and stop? None.

 Not made up :
And Made up :

And The flip flop flop flop back and forth is exhausting . Hence my asking for your help .

The flip flop ? not just daily...

Okay i was "double denim, hair down, hour and a half make up &nails done " when i was assaulted 6th June '14 or this mayve happened sooner
Yes my foot and ankle still *remember* the assualt as does my knee. 

I was assualted attempting to come out also in 2007. That assault broke my right clavicle and displace the shoulder, and pulled a few muscles. With cuts to my face too. So 7 years before i tried again . I cant wait any longer .

And if you dont help with a donation, please hit the share button(s) below