Something thought id never say…

you know grab rails etc etc all smack of oh shit im shit? no, they arent. Its all about independence and safety IF needed.
I asked for grab rail in shower when it was fitted, cos closing eyes, water all over, slippy… and me being a tired person , who needs glasses, and does get dizzy.

Not always do i need it. tonight a ten minute shower, it saved me going over bashing my nut and all sorts.

So no matter WHO you are. Never doubt assistance devices, cos you might hurt yourself one day without them.

Does that make any sense?

Right. WITHOUT THAT THERE ID BE REALLY NOT TAKING A SHOWER

So I wrote a poem ..

Can you see, my past is history
It lives within
it repeats itself from others non educated
So the present cannot arrive?
The struggle of the knowing
even internally glowing
is smashed by ambience of surround
It has a sound
And it abounds
And that is my punishment should ever exist
Those people
those facilitators of belief
Do they ever speak
to those carrying MY grief?
And my existence set in history
even in the now.

A poem about my dog

As for my Dog

a Poem needed,

I walk him
feed him
need him
is it any wonder
it is no longer
every day i check he's breathing

Thinking Can Be Spooky

A different type of blog, I think, based on the thought that thinking can be spooky 

Dont ask me to define spooky though. I wont , that up to you. 

Giving self space to think sometimes is good 

other times its disgusting, or disgustingly delicious. 

Regardless how described its disturbing if it isnt a norm you usually do. 

(Disturbing in widest terms, stay with me on this) 

This is something that I thought before I wrote THIS POST. Thing is the me time i intended when i blogged previously about me time wasnt actually happening because the difficult NO's werent said. 

Two have over the weekend and I feel the disturbance in the force, if that can be used as a description. 

However, it is gonna be slightly different , and … see ? 

THATS THE POINT I SEE CIRCULAR LOOP > thoughts can go round and round and round. Probably this post makes zero sense, did i intend it to? Or Not? Then I think on that too.

Thinking is spooky, sometimes.

The one where you fill a form in for someone

One of the helpys earlier was form filling, as often is. for someone  

They shake.

Pen is impossible. 

She Is sister of someone i know, her brother doesnt help her much.

So the basic . i filled form in exactly as she wanted . she only needed a scribe.


Oh She'll get it posted. I was the scribe remember,wasnt asked for that, no more than scribe. Was In to do least as was asked. i wont intrude/insult Thats skill in itself.

I might never see that person again either. thats how it goes. But i might , she's sister of someone i know, so who knows.



All the helpys stay in head untill head is too full, and some fall out.


I write about this one wondering why brother didnt do it?

We also sorted this out in a pub thats quite close to strangeways . quietly.

Some helps i do dont want neighbours seeing strangers visit, so they get to Other places. Its about embarrassment sometimes. And remaining question is why couldnt the brother do it?

I wasnt ASKED for any other assistance. were they embarrassed? or was that helpy a hole they needed filling. I think the latter

The War On Terror, 50's Detective short story style.

Memoires: A short story of Our Hero.

It was a bad week. And i remember …

My mind that night was running wild "its dark im sure that noise was indian jeshi, creeping round corner. i was threatened i crept from office, shot him. i was right"
' i stood in the dock the following wednesday, I was shaking, but knew the truth, i knew the judge was on my side`"
"the judge confirmed, Jeshi was overheard talking about strange subject in the pool hall, "

"stuff we couldnt understand, my shooting was upheld as just, homeland was protecrted once more"

"Later in my life , i found Jeshi was innocent, but at the time it was right. How was i to know he was promotingn peace not threat"

The Force MAY exist …

Me doing something earlier upset dog with one word no, involving MY FOOD . 

i used the force, his teeth were not able to do a thing, his head was made heavy and he layed down. .

..no words. a hand gesture and standing just that close to him. reason? he wanted my food, he forgot the rules ..

NO WORD was spoken.

Am I Dog Vader?

Responsible rebuild of credit needed?

I use this , for emergencies, and for consumer rights if buying something.

Credit Card.

The one i could get, to rebuild credit ratings was Visa , Vanquis Bank

You can manage account by SMS too, or online/paper.

Currently you can apply and could get £25 credited to account if you visit www.vanquisoffer.co.uk

and please enter code CR06E in promotional field.

Be responsible with it, do remember its not wise to use credit card for bills unless you can pay it back. its more of a cashflow, especially if you are repairing your credit score. They arent Long term borrowing tools, or intentedfor financing exosting debt, thats the responsibility bit.

Some people … some people eh?

Earlier by the market i went to walk by a bloke with a malmute sort of dog .

He shouts out dont bring your dog near here. his dog goes a bit ballistic, no reprimand from the bloke sat holding dogs lead only, no attempt at all to bring dog closer to him to make it easier for me to pass with mine, mine being completely utterly calm.

Then later, i return another way and he's sitting on a bench, same dog . and says "I thought youd learnt first time dotn bring your dog by here"

Me? "im entitled to walk by"

Him follows with a stream of abuse ….

You shouldnt have a fucking dog even though its only a fucking mutt" Amongst other shouty shite. Still not concerned at all about his dog that was going a bit mad on the lead he was holding .

As i turn corner, an older man behind me calls to me, and said "what the hell is his problem ? jesus, you okay? " Both of us incredulous at the fella and his dog (both of their) behaviours.

The fella with the dog crossed road to market and was screaming and shouting with some other youths that hed crossed to meet , which i could see as that was opposite the corner.

My dog? calm through the lot of it.

Im wondering actually if HE should have a dog, to be honest.

some people eh?

Im helping 4 people currently where i'll need 200 estimated

Without telling you personal details

4 people im helping , i'll need bus fare for, and letters and phone calls and other ancilliary costs.
One is ongoing housing issue, two are dwp, the other is a private landlord issue .
This is part of my helpy world i do.

The only problem i have is that i dont have that money

This isnt all of the helpy world, just a bit. Is 50 quid per heled person too much ? to do this 4 i need 200, where i cant spend it myself because im already behind with payments in my life i must make .

Can you hit DONATE BUTTON with what you can afford right now?

Change of focus.

When two worlds collide…

With my Internet, energy bills, phone, and other personal stuff, Im gonna find busfares/travelling and justifying some of the costs of helping people difficult.
I will help as much as i can, but ive got personal stuff, and thats at quite a cost, so the helping etc will need to be less, but....

Online not a problem.

Phone calls, letters, busses , meet ups etc will all be affected.

With the personal side i need to do, i'll be short on disposable for helping by about £150 a month. probably for at least three yrs.

Dont think i'm impolite if i say "i cant afford it"
Tthis already has happened twice since the personal thing cropped up.


Theres a donate button up top right margin can help .

Can you help me carry on helping people? This isnt an easy ask .

Thank you .