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Saturday, 21 February 2015

Because It's Visible.. Thoughts.




When i had chair then crutches I saw SO much.

I had a good group of peeps about, funny though they dissipated away as my need lessened.

They are the sort who help when "really" needed but arent in your pockets when not. It does raise question of what is real need?. Thats a completely different subject.

I tend myself to be a bit solitary anyway.

One or two havent dissipated away but understand that post super exposure to help has left me with a residual need to BE myself and , probably "engage at my choice" rather than the previous "engage through need at at the behest and availability of others" 

Nearly all that helped irl even with phone calls or solidarity, ive helped situations for most of them in some big ways. Suppose its Their Investment really to help me if im buggered (visibly- they helped because they saw). Because if theres a sticky point for them, i'll find a route if there is one. I will hand them the hammer to use to solve stuff. I suppose the support I got in the intense period was a karma return. Maybe theydve not helped or supported if i hadnt had an impact. Often many people get left "in the cold" . They (those that helped me IRL) wont help financially. They'll help via understanding or little favours. Some people dont get even that. And because im Still affected by on costs from july last year, cascading effects on bills arrears and so on are still with me, meaning even less than before can i engage in social situations, even though recovering.

Leg foot and ankle still not fully recovered. My other illnesses still have impact on my life. This is a microcosm written because of what was VISIBLE.

I dont know whether the same commentary would be possible for my invisible long term stuff. So I wrote this. Because, its visible. 

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