Friday, 26 October 2012
Round the world Mental Health. Honest testimony
Fabulous testimony from Jess! Please read the confusion, the fuzz, the absolute search for solution, the aaaaarrrrrgh factor , the lot... This from across the pond from me. She asked me to blog it. --------------------------- Half-Truth By MinaBeans (Jessica Emily Ann) One does wonder what the mandatory three days in a mental care unit actually does to someone. Does that one get the care they need, do they decide to trace those steps for mental health thereafter? Or does their voice get lost in the system and once out, get thrown into a crowd of people unable to understand. You got help, why aren't you better? Here, go to this Doctor, pay for these pills, juice up on Ativan, you'll be alright. Does anyone remember when they first brought you in and how they asked “why do you think you are here?” For some, they had to go, for some, they decided to go. Is anyone actually able to answer that question at first? Do we lie and or do we say the truth? For some, we say “I don't know.” A half-truth. In most cases, we get lost in the system. We see the Doctor for 10 minutes each day. Then we spend the rest of the time with the others on the ward and doing Arts and crafts. It's a bit surreal, scary, and comfortable. The big windows in the lunch room pointed east where I spent my three days. I sat staring at the sun cursing that they had forgot my allergies to certain foods. I would look out the window and pretend eat, drinking caffeine-free hot tea. I sat with a a group of people who were just as nervous as I am. We talked about music, a lot and we traded food sometimes. If there is anything that I remember helping me, it was them. The Rocker Guy, the Mother, the Angry Woman, and the Quiet Lady...I remember their faces but I don't remember my doctor's face. I had one visit from some family. They seemed happy for me, but in truth, that is the half-truth. I learned then that, only I can help myself first before anything gets better. Asking for help is brave, yes, but that's only one step. I felt childish, the thing that pushed me over the edge was small. I had a fight with a beloved sister, and the chains broke. That is all this place focused on. So I played the part. I played the part. And I got out, playing the part, but I did try after. Only to fail, then win, then fail all in a round cycle. But that is a different story. In the maze of understanding, at first glance, this was my experience.