I was thinking of a thought but the thought wasn't there, the sense didnt have form, but the unease existed. I knew a thought was developing. So I asked the question: What is the thought?
The answer hit me.......like a high velocity bullet.
- I dont OWE enough to be invisible.
- I dont OWE enough to be offered alternate financial arrangements.
- I dont OWE enough to be pardoned and excused.
On the other hand I try and pay bills, and get SLAMMED if arrangements slip by a day or a week.
Because I dont OWE enough - I'm treated as a mental punch-bag, valid target for harassment, and someone who gets mandatory decisions made on their behalf of when where and how I should pay stuff - even if a minor adjustment is needed through no fault of mine, and that change is in good faith, with explanation.
If I owed MORE, I'd be given more freedom.
How TWISTED is that?
I knew that thought lived inside, I just had to germinate it.